Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Gather some moss


The front lawn which suffered so much last year during the drought has regrown and is now a springy soft mossy bank (above) such as fairies would be happy to dance on.

Spring has leapt into being eerily early this year, with snowdrops, crocuses, daffodils and azaleas all out in full. The words climate change lurk dauntingly in my mind. Will this strange spring finally catalyse every individual to do something about climate change?

Perhaps we are all doing too much. Let's stay still and gather some moss. Read this series of article from the Tablet on leisure and then go and lie down for a while.

http://www.thetablet.co.uk/pages/leisure1/

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The fuss about Gina Ford

Above: Two great friends, one of whom is on a Gina Ford routine, the other not. And I defy you to guess which is which!


The Art of Abundance has had its first celebrity endorsement. Actually I loathe the concept of celebrity and I can't bear the obsession our society places on fame. Despite having interviewed a fair few celebrities from sailor Ellen MacArthur to comedienne Catherine Tate, I couldn't care less whether Beyonce does or does not have cellulite, and I never ever watch Big Brother. Still, it's always nice to be appreciated and I was delighted when Gina Ford, parenting guru extraordinaire, told me that she loves this blog!

If you're not familiar with Gina Ford then she is known as the Queen of Routines. She writes 'The Contented Baby' parenting books that sell millions of copies and tell parents in great detail what to do with their children. The thing is, the advice works. Parents who reach the end of their tether and need a decent nights' sleep rave about her when she solves their problems. Innumerable celebrities and high powered working mothers take her advice. She doesn't stop you bonding with your baby; she gives detailed advice on how to get your child onto a routine which works. The parenting world is an odd one, with endless experts writing books which seem to be more about telling you that they are the uber parent than how to best look after your child. Personally I like to take any advice with a large pinch of salt: I'm the mother, any guru is just an adviser.

Anyway, the other day Gina Ford rang me up. I tried to explain the surprise of this to a great friend, priest Father Paul Keane. In the end I found myself saying, 'It's kind of like if the Pope rang you up. 'Ah, now I understand,' he said nodding enthusiastically. This is akin to buying a pair of shoes at Jimmy Choo's and then Jimmy Choo ringing you up to see if they fitted properly. Not that I'm saying Gina Ford, Jimmy Choo and the Pope are in any way alike, but you get the idea of how surprised I was.

She turned out to be wonderfully down to earth and entertaining, with that true grit that comes with years of hard graft and child rearing. Gina Ford has a broad Northern accent and can tell you in seconds where any given childcare problem lies. She comes across as a genius for childcare and passionately committed to supporting parents and children. I'm deeply grateful to her and thanked her for the advice I had gleaned from her website when my son decided to stop sleeping for a month.

Contentedbaby.com is a website set up by Gina Ford to support the people who follow her routines. You have to pay £40 to join, and then you get access to expert advice and a community of mothers. What delighted me most about this website was the wonderful balance and commitment that I found in the community. By contrast with the infamous mumsnet.com, where Gina Ford was once rather bizarrely accused of sending babies on the rocket to the Lebanon, the mothers on ContentedBaby were polite and supportive. These are people who care deeply about every aspect of their children's well-being and want to have contented children. Contrary to popular belief, these are not people who are leaving their babies to cry. Every now and then Gina rings up mothers who post on her website saying that they have left their babies to cry and tells them not to!

Ford also has a terrific sense of humour. She declaimed the extraordinary amount of flak that she gets for her routines but told me she was mainly concerned at the moment with the finding of a toy boy to elope to the Bahamas with. And good luck to her.

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Monday, February 19, 2007

calm Sunday




Abstaining is not my strong point. I have healthy appetites. I try to avoid puritanism. But I'm realising that fasting is not about abstaining, it's about making room in my life for the best things in life.

Yesterday was Sunday and I did my machinery fast again. At sundown it's absolute bliss to turn off the computer, the modem, the router, the Telewest box, the washing machine, the oven... Not a single humming machine in earshot. (Persuading my au pair to go without internet access for 24 hours was tricky. I managed to get her to turn the modem off by 10am on Sunday - good thing too as the World Health Organisation knows that low levels of electromagnetic energy are OK, but no one has actually done the research in to what high levels of electromagnetic energy do to the body, and I suspect that it will be as with mobile phones. Personally I make very sure my modem and wireless router are switched off every night, though there's not much I can do about the five wireless networks from neighbouring flats that my computer informs me are circulating my apartment.)

After last week's emergency sheet washing marathon (sick toddler - don't ask), this week was better: I spent the day alone quietly resting and trying to tune in to myself and to God. I went to mass, had a little lunch that I'd prepared the night before and popped in for a chat with a neighbour. It slightly foundered towards the end of the afternoon when I set the dishwasher off and went for a walk via a clothing shop, but on the whole it was pretty restful both for me and my gadgets. Today I feel full of enthusiasm and verve and I can't wait to get on with the day.

Taking a rest is the beautiful key to renewal. If we gave the earth a rest it might have time to renew itself. I do wish I could persuade my neighbours of the value of Keeping Sunday Special though. It was so frustrating to walk down to my local high street and see all the cars tearing about. The noise levels were high, the shops were all open. There were still fewer people on the streets than normal, but other than that it was just like a wan version of any other day. We need to learn to rest.

Tomorrow is Shrove Tuesday, Mardi Gras, Pancake Day. After that comes Ash Wednesday, and then Lent. It's belt tightening time, when for 40 days Christians give up luxuries and give the money they have saved to the poor. This is the time to seek God within and to defeat the self indulgence instinct. A great meditation tool online is http://www.sacredspace.ie St Ethelburga's are doing a four part Lenten Journey of Reconciliation

Lots of people give up chocolate, but you might give up driving the car, or even clothes shopping. You might give up throwing food out: Try the Cooking by Numbers site to use up what's in the fridge. Given the news this morning that it may be too late to stop the ice caps melting and millions drowning, let's give up polluting the atmosphere for Lent? The Irish bishops are telling their flocks to give up alcohol. The idea is to 'be filled with the Holy Spirit' instead, but I regret to say that of late my sense of being overflowing with the grace of God has been lacking. Hopefully Lent will remedy that.

The money saved could go to The Cardinal Hume Centre and Actionaid. Two excellent charities. The former looks after the homeless of south London and helps them find their way in life, the latter is probably the best of the overseas aid charities. I also greatly admire EIA I don't pay heed to the endless charity begging letters that come through my door. They all, without fail, go in the bin, because I think you can go a little crazy if you start considering each one on it's merits. Nor do I give out money on the street. Street collections are for lazy people who never bother to give to charity and have to be cajoled into it. I think one should put 5% of one's income into direct debits to support two or so chosen charities, and Gift Aid it.

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Muscle and memory

'Muscle has memory'

So Louise Doughty says in her blog 'the writer's year'.

Actually I think that the whole body has memory. Emotions become trapped in our body, where they can cause illness. Our bodies, souls and minds should be as one vigorous, entwined expression of life and love.

In the last week I have started doing Darcey Bussell's beautifully calm, meditative 'Darcey Bussell: Pilates For Life' One strange consequence of this is that I felt a breath of dark, sooty breath clearing itself out of my lungs. Who knows, I may have averted serious illness.

Certain eastern medicine systems believe that every part of the body corresponds with a different part of the soul and body. I must admit that my knowledge of this is superficial, but I do use a book called Transform Your Life: A Step-by-step Programme for Change which has a section on the body and the corresponding emotions and what they mean. If I have a problem with a particular part of my body I will always consider the emotional side, although I also consider the possibility that it is nothing to do with that at all. I think it's a mistake to believe that every illness is within our control - sometimes we are ill for inexplicable reasons. And sometimes we suffer through no fault of our own. Still, the connection is worth bearing in mind. The body can offer helpful clues as to our emotional issues. There can be no separating the body from the spiritual and emotional spheres.

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Friday, February 02, 2007

Valentine's Day

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All I want for Valentine's Day is one of Romi Derman's beautiful Valentine's necklaces. Each one is made by hand, takes two weeks to make and is completely unique. And they all come with their own poem. What more could anyone want? £165 from Castellazzo's, 020 8340 3001

Oh, yes, and true love. I note that there is a novena to my patron saint, Saint Raphael, patron of single people, healing and journeys carrying no for 9 days from 14th February. My Orthodox Jewish friend, Claire, suggests that the Archangel Raphael is the love doctor! http://www.life4seekers.co.uk/lifestylevalues/St.Raphael.html

And to learn to cook at a Valentine's singles Italian cookery course at La Cucina Caldesi.

Hmmn. And maybe a rasul at the Elemis spa - I note that they are still on special offer!

high maintenance? moi? Ok, I'll settle for just true love...

Last year my new love and I braved a very upmarket Indian restaurant on the riverfront in Henley-on-Thames, The Spice Merchant. The food was a flowing series of courses of gourmet Indian food. Outside the window the centuries of liquid history floated by. Inside the restaurant my date took one look at the outpouring of tacky heart shaped confetti and shiny red balloons and panicked. It took a long time to come to the end of that meal. I remember him staring at me balefully, both of us knowing that this relationship would not work but still with at least two of the seven courses left to eat. It seemed considerably less time before our love had joined all the other water under the bridge. The good thing about that is that nothing about VD day can phase me now. Really nothing.

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something for the parents

If you are free next week and need a relaxing break with your partner and children, Ickworth Hotel in Suffolk are doing a special offer of £75 per person per night. They are part of the Luxury Family Hotels chain, who invited me to their delightful country house, Moonfleet, some time ago. Both parents and children will love it. All the hotels are doing offers, but Ickworth is the cheapest offer. Below I've attached an article I wrote for Family Life Magazine on the mother and baby spa at Moonfleet Manor.

http://www.ickworthhotel.co.uk/offers.asp