calm Sunday

Abstaining is not my strong point. I have healthy appetites. I try to avoid puritanism. But I'm realising that fasting is not about abstaining, it's about making room in my life for the best things in life.

Yesterday was Sunday and I did my machinery fast again. At sundown it's absolute bliss to turn off the computer, the modem, the router, the Telewest box, the washing machine, the oven... Not a single humming machine in earshot. (Persuading my au pair to go without internet access for 24 hours was tricky. I managed to get her to turn the modem off by 10am on Sunday - good thing too as the World Health Organisation knows that low levels of electromagnetic energy are OK, but no one has actually done the research in to what high levels of electromagnetic energy do to the body, and I suspect that it will be as with mobile phones. Personally I make very sure my modem and wireless router are switched off every night, though there's not much I can do about the five wireless networks from neighbouring flats that my computer informs me are circulating my apartment.)

After last week's emergency sheet washing marathon (sick toddler - don't ask), this week was better: I spent the day alone quietly resting and trying to tune in to myself and to God. I went to mass, had a little lunch that I'd prepared the night before and popped in for a chat with a neighbour. It slightly foundered towards the end of the afternoon when I set the dishwasher off and went for a walk via a clothing shop, but on the whole it was pretty restful both for me and my gadgets. Today I feel full of enthusiasm and verve and I can't wait to get on with the day.

Taking a rest is the beautiful key to renewal. If we gave the earth a rest it might have time to renew itself. I do wish I could persuade my neighbours of the value of Keeping Sunday Special though. It was so frustrating to walk down to my local high street and see all the cars tearing about. The noise levels were high, the shops were all open. There were still fewer people on the streets than normal, but other than that it was just like a wan version of any other day. We need to learn to rest.

Tomorrow is Shrove Tuesday, Mardi Gras, Pancake Day. After that comes Ash Wednesday, and then Lent. It's belt tightening time, when for 40 days Christians give up luxuries and give the money they have saved to the poor. This is the time to seek God within and to defeat the self indulgence instinct. A great meditation tool online is http://www.sacredspace.ie St Ethelburga's are doing a four part Lenten Journey of Reconciliation

Lots of people give up chocolate, but you might give up driving the car, or even clothes shopping. You might give up throwing food out: Try the Cooking by Numbers site to use up what's in the fridge. Given the news this morning that it may be too late to stop the ice caps melting and millions drowning, let's give up polluting the atmosphere for Lent? The Irish bishops are telling their flocks to give up alcohol. The idea is to 'be filled with the Holy Spirit' instead, but I regret to say that of late my sense of being overflowing with the grace of God has been lacking. Hopefully Lent will remedy that.

The money saved could go to The Cardinal Hume Centre and Actionaid. Two excellent charities. The former looks after the homeless of south London and helps them find their way in life, the latter is probably the best of the overseas aid charities. I also greatly admire EIA I don't pay heed to the endless charity begging letters that come through my door. They all, without fail, go in the bin, because I think you can go a little crazy if you start considering each one on it's merits. Nor do I give out money on the street. Street collections are for lazy people who never bother to give to charity and have to be cajoled into it. I think one should put 5% of one's income into direct debits to support two or so chosen charities, and Gift Aid it.

Valentine's Day

.


All I want for Valentine's Day is one of Romi Derman's beautiful Valentine's necklaces. Each one is made by hand, takes two weeks to make and is completely unique. And they all come with their own poem. What more could anyone want? £165 from Castellazzo's, 020 8340 3001

Oh, yes, and true love. I note that there is a novena to my patron saint, Saint Raphael, patron of single people, healing and journeys carrying no for 9 days from 14th February. My Orthodox Jewish friend, Claire, suggests that the Archangel Raphael is the love doctor! http://www.life4seekers.co.uk/lifestylevalues/St.Raphael.html

And to learn to cook at a Valentine's singles Italian cookery course at La Cucina Caldesi.

Hmmn. And maybe a rasul at the Elemis spa - I note that they are still on special offer!

high maintenance? moi? Ok, I'll settle for just true love...

Last year my new love and I braved a very upmarket Indian restaurant on the riverfront in Henley-on-Thames, The Spice Merchant. The food was a flowing series of courses of gourmet Indian food. Outside the window the centuries of liquid history floated by. Inside the restaurant my date took one look at the outpouring of tacky heart shaped confetti and shiny red balloons and panicked. It took a long time to come to the end of that meal. I remember him staring at me balefully, both of us knowing that this relationship would not work but still with at least two of the seven courses left to eat. It seemed considerably less time before our love had joined all the other water under the bridge. The good thing about that is that nothing about VD day can phase me now. Really nothing.

.

winter sun

There are two ways to cope with January blues: The first is to book a holiday to South Africa and soak up some lovely sunny rays. I did this when I was pregnant with my son and it worked a treat. A bumpy ride

This year I'm rather uncomfortable with the idea. Partly because of the threat of impending global warming floods, partly an allergic reaction to the drear of airport travelling, but ultimately a sense that there is something too extreme about being plunged into summer when your body seriously believes it should be slowing down for long winter nights, I just think it wouldn't be right to book a winter sun holiday.

But how to get through the dreariness of January?

Well, firstly study ">Roast Figs and Sugar Snow by Diana Henry. It is a culinary celebration of all things cold and wintry and I defy you to want a January summer after reading it. If the dark days are getting you down you could also get one of the lumie lamp range These clever lamps wake you up with a bright light that slowly comes on in the morning to simulate the sunrise. At night it slowly fades when you switch the alarm on which is a very cosy way to go to sleep. Even more effective are their desktop lamps. This year I'm going to enjoy the cold slow stillness of January and spend the time dreaming of my long summer holiday on an organic farm in Tuscany, and if none of that works I shall learn to tango.